Wednesday, October 26, 2011

365 Days and counting

Wow. An entire year and a bit has gone by and I haven't touched this thing. Maybe I just lack the self discipline to blog. I don't understand why it's so difficult for me to me keep up with. I really do enjoy writing.

I've actually started to write a story - an honest to god, legit4realz story. I've shared some of it with Tessa ( <3 ) and she seems to love it, although the woman is entirely biased 'cause she loves me, haha! But I digress. The degree of my implied awesomesauce-ness aside, I started to write this story ... and I guess in typical fashion I haven't touched it in like, a week or so. My mojo disappeared I think. Either that I'm scared that it might -actually- be good and I don't want anything to happen to this new found project of mine.

All my life I've wanted to write. Sadly, staying home and writing all the time doesn't necessarily come with the biggest of paychecks - unless one's last name happens to me Gaiman, King, and so on and so forth. I would seriously love to pick the brain of some of these authors and see what they think of it. Validation of self is important to me - although, a part of me doubts that I would really ever get anywhere with it. I mean hello ... Neil Gaiman -LIKING- something and some little nobody wrote?! Pfft. Yeah right. In an alternate universe maybe.

But, I like it. Which is the main part. I've come to learn slowly that you don't write things other people will like. You write what YOU like. And this idea ... I kinda like it. A monster living in the cupboard behind the refrigerator of my apartment? Although, I don't know reallyh if ever I'd be able to stick to the same genre. Yanno? When I was little I used to read these amazing Native American historical fictions by the Gears. Oh my god, they were so good. I even started to write my own story similar to that. A Native American murder-mystery. It was good too! I had pages and pages and pages written, plus oodles of notes and all the characters names and who they were in the village and how they were related, and what role they played. Gosh, I wonder whatever happened to that thing? It probably got thrown away - despite being a packrat and holding on to almost everything. I think I still might be clinging to old university and high school papers somewhere back at my parents house.

I need to begin by giving myself some goals. A schedule. A time table. SOMETHING to keep me focused and motivated and on -track. I have a job now - but, hold your applause because I'm not even sure I like it yet. As for right now, it's merely a means to an end to get me home for a bit for the holidays so I can at least see my parents, nephews, nieces and siblings before the New Year comes. God, am I really talking about Christmas?! But yes ... right. A job. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it yet. It's different and I'm totally out of my depth when dealing with electronics and cell phones and everything else. There is a silver lining though, and that's $$$$. It's paid on commission as well. So, the whole point of this job is to be able to BUY my own ticket home for Christmas and begin to be make some small dent in to the massive amount of debt I have - thank you, post secondary education. Why Post Secondary education isn't free yet, I have no idea. Why no one in Canada's government hasn't thought of it yet, I don't know. Perhaps the NDPs will get hold of the idea and run with - provided they can get Harper out of office.

But my political views are something else altogether, and such information I do believe is best left off of the interwebz for the time being. In the meantime I leave you with this. The few dear friends I have (who might by some chance be still following me) I encourage you to harass me every day. For writing. To exercise. To smile. To take a deep breath. To put one foot in front of the other. To love.

<3 <3 <3